The Origin of Coffee
by Zazzette
Summary: I don't own anything from Hetalia, and I definetly don't intend to offend anyone with the Hetalia stereotypes. This is just a silly story that I was inspired to write one day, about our favorite energizing beverage, coffee! Please Enjoy. :) Please post a review too! :D
1. Chapter 1

It had been a relatively peaceful luncheon in the house of Germany.

"Italy?" Germany had said that morning.

"Yes, Germany?" Italy had said, demonstrating his clumsy and inopportune salute.

"At-ease, Italy," Germany had sighed. "The war's over,"

"You mean the one where you led Japan and I in a battle against the Allied powers? The same one you lost? The loss that humiliated you in front of the world?"

Germany had growled softly.

"Pasta!" Italy had mused. "It was all very pasta-"

"ITALY!" Germany had roared, finally giving in to his temper. "I COME HERE WITH PEACEFUL INTENTIONS, AND BEFORE I EVEN HAVE THE CHANCE TO STATE THEM, I AM REMINDED OF THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME SINCE MY SOVEREIGNTY!"

"But Germany," Italy had said plainly, "Why wouldn't you come here in peace? I thought we were allies!"

Germany had been silent, but shaking with fury.

"OHH!" Italy had exclaimed suddenly, in comprehension. " You just wanted to offer _another _treaty!

Germany had tried to face-palm, but had been fearful that his infuriated hand would strike too hard, and that he would hurt himself.

"Well!" Italy had cried, smiling, " I suppose one can never have too many treaties!"

"Italy?" Germany had said softly.

" Yes Germany?"

"All I was going to say was that you could make lunch if you wanted,"

"OHHH!" Italy had yelled, clapping his hands and jumping up and down like a child on a sugar rush, "YAY! NO MORE STINKY BRATWURST! PASATAAAAAAA!"


	2. The Origin of Coffee: CH 2

After making his way through the meal, Germany was happy again.

"Maybe," He thought, " I can sneak a potato or wurst..."

"GERMANY!" Italy cried from the kitchen.

"Yes, Italy?" Germany said.

"GUESS WHAT ELSE I MADE YOU!" Italy hollered. Germany's heart sank.

"Probably, 'Pasta Pie', Or something equally disgusting," Germany thought.

"Coffee!" Italy said, appearing in the doorway, wearing a ridiculous pink apron with ruffles, and bearing a silver platter with a coffee pot and two delicate china cups. Germany sighed with relief.

"How nice of you, Italy," Germany said, taking his cup from the platter.

"Germany," Italy asked, "Where does coffee come from?"

Germany almost dropped his cup in response to the intelligible question. From behind him he heard a strange rustling in the trees.

"Strange," He thought "It's not even windy today," Then he heard the voices.

"Coffee"

"Tea"

"Coffee"

"T-E-A"

"C-O-F-E-A"

"YOU BURGER-BAKA! THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL IT!"

"THE SPELLING DOESN'T MATTER! IT'S ONLY THE TASTE THAT-" Germany turned around to see England and America fall from the tree behind him.

"TEA!" England roared.

"COFFEE!" America bellowed.

"TEA!"

"COFFEE!"

"TEA!"

"PAAAASSSSTTTAAA!" The three countries turned to see Italy standing on the lunch table. England's complexion was shifting between a fearful paleness and a cherry red embarrassment.

"Shoot!" England thought, "Thanks to Burger-Boy, we've been caught spying!"

America just stared emptily at Italy's oddly feminine attire.

"Hi England!" He yelled gleefully, " Hello America!" Italy half jumped-half fell from the table and approached the western most country. "And America, since you seem to be an expert of coffee, could you please tell where coffee came from?"

"Why thank-you, Italy, for presenting such a thoughtful question to the modest but true expert," America said, launching into his rambling mode. "And the answer is -drum roll please- CAMBODIA!"

"You mean Colombia?" Germany asked, "Everyone knows that,"

America sighed. "Same thing,"

"No," England said, seizing the opportunity to shift the conversation even farther from questions concerning his initial presence there with America. "You're both wrong. Coffee was originally drunk in Ethiopia..."


End file.
